Beloved
by latininuluva
Summary: After Ulquiorra's death, Orihime copes with having to live a normal life again. But after so much anguish and loss... can she recover? Suffering on her own as she struggles with PTO, confusing illusions start clouding her mind, but... are they real? Will Ichigo be there to lend a shoulder, or will she find solace in another?


Beloved

Chapter One

Deep Sorrow

* * *

Orihime remembered reaching the world above Hueco Mundo. The lone crescent moon in the ominous black sky had painted a perfect picture of hell. It lit up the men that had reached the end of one part of their fight. She had stared, shocked into her own stupor, unable to do a thing. Ichigo hung limply at the end of Ulquiorra's tail, sweat dripped down his sickly pale face, the wind blew dark clouds around them. Yellow eyes had slowly turned to look at her, acknowledging her presence. But she paid him no attention. She could only watch Ichigo. She could only _see_ him. The man that had faced countless obstacles to rescue her. The man she entrusted all her hope to. The man that had unknowingly held her heart.

At the time, could Ulquiorra have been toying with her? Was he curious to see her reaction? He had asked her countless times if she was afraid. And then at that moment, as he lifted his hand to Ichigo's chest, he had been talking to her, taunting her.

_Was_ she afraid?

Not caring for her own safety, she yelled out to him in a futile attempt to stop the murciélago from completing his task.

A flash of dark light lit up the sky. The edges lined in green.

And when the smoke had cleared, the pain she felt in her heart became unbearable. She had witnessed the death of the man she loved. The hole in his chest mimicked the emptiness that had grown in her own. Her eyes dilated from the pure horror as she watched him fall free from his opponent's grasp. She couldn't think, couldn't speak, so she had ran to him as fast as her nimble body would allow. His body had been soaring straight to the ground. She released her powers and caught him, not allowing him any further harm.

She vaguely remembered Ulquiorra blocking her path, crushing her heart even further as he explained that there was nothing she could do for her fallen hero. His words were cold, cruel.

"_Kurosaki-kun... Kurosaki-kun!" _She swore she had been hyperventilating. She didn't care, she needed to get to him! With Ishida as a distraction, she ran around the espada and reached Ichigo.

His brown eyes had made her body freeze over. The blank stare into the sky, the deep gloss... but try as she might, the orange orb of her power that surrounded him brought on no change. Not a blink, not a breath of fresh air...the hole in his chest refused to shrink.

She couldn't breathe. She could feel herself loosing it, and almost immediately she had fallen apart. _It's all my fault. _The tears ran down her face freely. Expressing the deep sorrow in the only way she knew how. _What should I do? _She had put so much responsibility on his shoulders, she had put so much blind faith in him coming through as the victor. She never once imagined him as he had been before her. Fallen, with no life in his captivating brown eyes. She lifted her shaky hands to her head, trying with all her might to keep her sanity, to find a way to save Ichigo.

_What should I do...what should I do?_

At that moment, Ishida had slid into view, distracting her momentarily. She noted his bruised arm... he had been losing the fight. But that was to be expected...if Ichigo had fallen, what chance would the quincy have against such an opponent?

Orihime yelled out to him as he ran back to Ulquiorra, the determination was stark in his blue eyes. But she knew better, it was pointless, he would also fail.

She needed to stop him. If she couldn't heal Ichigo, she definitely wouldn't be able to save Ishida either. Turning from Ichigo, she unleashed her powers, protecting the quincy with what little energy her rattled mind could muster, but Ulquiorra shattered it within seconds. Again, she asked herself helplessly, _what should I do?_

With her already fractured heart, she closed her eyes and fisted her hands against the cold dirt on the ground and begged for a miracle. Her fat tears ran uncontrollably down her face. She remembered crying out for Ichigo, begging him to help. "_Save us, Kurosaki-kun!" _She remembered the despair she had felt in her heart from witnessing his death, of thinking what life would be like with out him, and what would become of their friends. She continued to wretch her soul out for him, it was the only thing she could do. They were all going to die.

What had happened next, she could barely comprehend with her own mind.

She had missed the sight of Ichigo's body when it began to glow, when his reiatsu flared, and when his hair had flown out in a bright orange arc. She hadn't seen when he had clutched at the ground beneath him and lifted himself up, when his eyes had glowed yellow and his face became quickly engulfed in his black smoke of power.

If only she had known the grief that would follow shortly after. Of watching in horror and wonder as hollowfied Ichigo ultimately defeated Ulquiorra.

That man, that man had no longer been Kurosaki Ichigo. He had waved his zanpakutō carelessly, tossing Orihime through the air like a rag doll. She should have been relieved that her savior had awaken, but the fear that held strong in her chest would not subside. The hollow's roaring only fed it, twisting it's roots around her thundering heart. And when he had crushed Ulquiorra's head under his foot, charging up his new found power for a finishing blow, she had known, Ichigo would never kill with out hesitation. He would always refrain, giving his opponent sympathy, understanding, and if need be some mercy, and a fair advantage.

There was no humanity in the way he had been fighting against the espada.

She felt her heart shake for the umpteenth time as she watched Ulquiorra's body, or what had been left of it, hang in Ichigo's white hollow hand. She watched as he tossed him aside with out a care in the world. Ulquiorra hit the ground hard, kicking up dirt in his wake. Hollow Ichigo walked to the lump on the ground he had discarded, a predatory gleam in his foreign eyes. He had lifted his sword, and Ishida had stepped in, trying to clear Ichigo's mind, attempting to remind him of his own humanity before he could do something he would regret, something he could never come back from. That was when hollow Ichigo struck the quincy.

"Ishida-kun!" She couldn't help but scream out her wounded friend's name. He wouldn't have been there if it wasn't for her. She had been the one to ask him to bring her to Kurosaki, it had all been because of her own selfish desire.

"_Will...save..."_

She turned her doe eyes at hollow Ichigo.

Was he... really... speaking?

"_Will...save..."_

And then it hit her, the guilt threatening to crush her broken heart. Somehow he came back, he found his way back, monster or not, to save them. She sat frozen, staring at his masked face. Hope growing in her body, _Kurosaki-kun..._

"_Will save...will save..."_

She wanted to cry all over again.

"_I will save you."_

_It's my fault. _She had realized. _Kurosaki-kun's trying to save me... because I called out to him. _It was then that she truly realized how utterly weak she was. How her own attempt to save him had caused his own death and rebirth.

He had then turned his blood lust eyes towards Ishida. She called out to him, trying to stop him. If he recognized her, surely he had some hold of reason left, but it had been to no avail. He continued, pointing his horns at his friend and charging up his power.

Orihime watched dumbfounded as Ulquiorra suddenly appeared behind hollowfied Icihgo, cutting off one of his horns, changing the trajectory of his attack and just barely missing the injured quincy. What a sudden turn of events.

_Why_..._why...? Ulquiorra..._

Ichigo's power expanded into a swirl of red energy, spinning eagerly, and then exploding before dissipating and leaving a thick layer of smoke and ash. He stood still as the winds blew around him. Then a second later, his mask broke into hundreds of shards, falling around his feet. He didn't move, his skin glistening, pale as the moon itself...his still long orange hair blowing beautifully behind him. His eyes returned back to their deep chocolate brown, and he collapsed.

The young healer wasted no time in running towards him. She needed to make sure he was still alive. After everything he had been through, after everything _she_ had put him through, it was the least she could do.

She leaned over his body, not caring of how breathless she had been, and called out his name, praying that he would wake. She was too distracted to look over at Ulquiorra. With his regeneration, she had figured that he would be okay. Then something around Ichigo shattered, and his hair was back to its normal length, a blue light swirled above his body, centering on the hole of his chest, and then filling it completely...as if it had never been there at all.

She heard her once captor mutter, _high-speed regeneration._

Orihime leaned close to Ichigo, letting her hands hover above his body, too afraid to touch him, unsure of what had just happened and what she should do. _"Kurosaki-kun?" _

Too quickly he had raised his body, leaning over the ground and taking in deep breaths to calm his frazzled nerves. He touched his chest, searching for the hole he swore had been there. Quietly, softly, Orihime had mumbled his name again, he looked over to her, an expression she couldn't read on his face, and he asked her if she was okay. Then realizing where he was, he noticed Ishida, and then his foe, Ulquiorra.

She had watched as the espada suddenly appeared before Ishida, pulling Ichigo's sword from his gut, and tossing it back to its rightful owner. _"Take it. Let's finish this."_

But Ichigo refused, slowly realizing what had occurred in his blacked out state of mind. Now that he regained his consciousness, he wanted a fair fight, and he offered to sacrifice his own body parts for the cause.

The drummed up murciélago turned to respond to his opponent, but as the first couple words escaped his lips, his body began to crumble, falling apart piece by piece. Ashes had formed at the base of his wings, and ever so slowly, it ate away at him. He no longer had the strength to walk. And the two men stared at each other quietly, bitterly accepting the fate that had befallen them.

Orihime got up to her feet, a quiet rustle was all Ulquiorra needed and had turned his attention to her, his green eyes landing on the woman that had first peeked his interest. Her orange tresses had flown gracefully behind her. Her worried eyes only on him.

"_Right as I was finally growing interested in you people."_

In those last moments, she had felt his eyes pierce through her soul. Just like it had so many times before, trying to understand her motives, her actions, her _feelings_. And she had thought back on the time when she had still been his prisoner. Just the two of them... alone... in the cold empty room.

* * *

"_Are you frightened? You will die here all alone, without anyone to hold on to." _She hadn't answered him then, trying to read him, to figure out his own feelings. He spoke again, the irritation obvious in his cold voice._ "I asked you if you're frightened."_

She had answered confidently, the words falling from her lips like honey _"I'm...not afraid." _He had continued staring at her, his hypnotic green eyes widening only a fraction. So she spoke on, hoping he could understand. _"Everyone came here to rescue me. My heart is already..." _she had looked down at the ground, a soft smile adorning her face _"...with them."_

"_How absurd." _He had replied.

* * *

Her heart had quaked again. She didn't think she would be able to make it back to normal life. There had been too much happening... to much she had been loosing. To much for her exhausted mind to cope with as she had watched him fade to black.

He had reached out to her, his pale fingers pointing in her direction. She couldn't imagine what he had possibly been thinking. But she knew, she knew what it had felt like to think you had nothing left. Before she had found out about her friends attempting to rescue her, she had felt so terribly and utterly alone. To have no one standing next to you, to have no one with you. His words had echoed in her mind once more, "_You will die here all alone, without anyone to hold on to." _He had asked about her heart... reaching towards her in the same fashion, pointing at her chest, at her eyes, wondering where he could find it...

_...My heart..._

"_Do I scare you, woman?" _He had walked closer, his body crumbling softly behind him, still reaching for her.

And in those final moments, as he reached out to her, speaking to her softly, the last words he would mutter before leaving for good, her heart tore. It tore and ripped and shredded uncontrollably, a deep pain and anguish washing over her being.

Even with him at a distance, with each step he had taken, she had felt his fingers grip around her soul. _"I am not afraid." _The tears puddled in her eyes and then fell freely down her face. _"I am not afraid." _she had repeated. As they looked on to each other, she felt something transpire between them, something she had never felt from the murciélago before. Then slowly, ever so gently, he had gripped around her heart.

"_I see." _Ulquiorra had muttered.

He began to pull away, his hand retreating from her...and with him, she had felt her heart slipping. She had felt it leaving her body. So she had reached out to him, hoping that he would understand, that he was not alone. She was there. Her heart was with him now. He didn't need to be afraid. Her fingers had finally touched his, but the contact had turned his hand to fume, dusting it out away from her.

Orihime never took a step away from him, she did not retreat. She had kept her watery gaze on him, as he did to her. His face was half gone, those sad green eyes imprinted in her memory for ever. It was all over.

_...My...heart..._

* * *

A/N

I'm back! :) It has been so long since I've written a fanfiction... and dare I say, my writing has improved! I've deleted my old one's because they were just so embarrassing!

Anyway! This first chapter is Orihime's point of view of episode 270-272. It is very important to this story, seeing how it's an UlquiorraxOrihime fic. I was literally watching the episodes as I wrote this, trying my best to get the most accurate description possible. I added a few things and took away a few just to keep it consistent with how I want this story to turn out. I hope it's to everyone's approval! Enjoy!


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